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Joy, joy, joy...

12/26/2013

As every year we were not alone this Christmas.
Many friends and visitors came to be with us at Home of Hope and many made sure that kids had gifts and plates were filled with goodies!
The first celebration was organised by Catholic Women’s League (our Mothers) already two weeks before actual celebrations. Jumping castles, great food, good music and gifts for each child.
The second one came from the Stanbic Bank Zambia and its generous Employees!
Thanks to them our home has a refreshed look. Outside and inside repainted.
Boys from secondary school level received cheques which will pay their fees for next year! The same was done for 40 children from primary schools. On top of all these each one received new uniform!
They will be all shining when new school year begins in two weeks time.
… and much more, but about that next time…

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Street apostolate

12/18/2013

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Time is passing very fast here at Home of Hope. There is always something to keep us busy, occupied and committed. Hardly any time left to sit down, do accounts, write reports and project proposals. With over 50 children in our care there are always things that have to be addressed “now”, things which cannot wait.

Our family is growing and changing constantly. Every month there are yet another children who come to join us in hope to find refuge, acceptance and help with their young, troubled lives.

Each one of them is like a new book to us. It’s our task to read and learn “it”.

Just came back from our quarterly tour – taking boys for short holidays and visiting families of our children. 2000 km and back ache, but it is always worth it. That is the only way to keep contact between child and his relatives. This gives us hope for eventual reconciliation and return for good.

Not every child is lucky to be able to spend, even short time with his family. At least not yet. Together we are getting ready to celebrate Christmas. And there are still those who will join our family in coming days and weeks. We don’t know them yet. They don’t know yet about us. Soon we are going to get close to each other, share our fears, secrets, joys and hopes. Exciting unknown ahead of us.

Today we have remembered encouragement received from… Pope Francis: “I want the Church to go out to the street”. And reinforcement of that statement, when he celebrated his birthday yesterday in the company of children and homeless! This confirms us in our apostolate and work.

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When charity kills

12/17/2013

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This text was published some time ago (27 July 2013) in The Post. Nevertheless we think it is still relevant, so we have decided to put it as the very first post on our blog.

"Most people remember very well a moment or an episode in their lives which was a turning point. Like Saint Paul I too was thrown off my horse, not on my way to Damascus but to Northern Zambia. It happened ten years ago and I had just arrived in the country, from my native Poland, to continue my training with the Missionaries of Africa (White Fathers). I was in Cairo Road, looking for an Internet Cafè from where I could call my family to tell them I had arrived safely. I found one but in front at the door, lying on the pavement, there was a child. The only way for me to enter into the shop would have been to step over his body. But I couldn’t. I froze and I moved to the other side of the street and went back home. That night the vision of that boy on the pavement came back to haunt me time and again. On the following morning I went back to the shop and the child was still there. This time he was awake, standing and begging. Unable to speak I just took him by the hand, led him to a fast food and bought him something to eat. Today I would not encourage anyone to do that but that’s what happened to me on that fateful encounter which threw open a door on a world I only knew through readings and movies.

Most of us who live in town have the same experience. Whatever our reaction (pity, annoyance, compassion, distrust) we generally agree that we should do something about these children in order to either alleviate their suffering, or to restore public order which they seem to “disturb”. But what can we do? Throughout all these years I have learnt that to give them something like money, food, medicines or clothes is to make matters worse. You may feel good that you’ve given the boy a couple of kwachas or a loaf of bread but you only see one side of the coin. Anything you give will be used to buy alcohol, sex and drugs. When they arrive on fresh on the street, they will be eager to “work” (that is begging, washing cars, carrying loads for you, selling staff, washing dishes, etc…) but the money they get will eventually lead them to self-destruction. And when they will be too weak to go out begging then they will divert to crime or even sell themselves in order to get their daily fix to which they are addicted. This is the other side of that coin, which very few of us ever witness. We meet briefly with children on the street when we give them things, or when they work for us. Very few of us will accompany them when they get injured or sick. Even fewer will ever hear of or attend their funeral.

Let us be clear about this point: giving alms to a child might be appeasing our conscience and be a self-gratifying gesture but by doing that we contribute to keep these children in the street and we help them down the road to self-destruction and eventually death. Money is the key to freedom, independence and power, but at that early stage in life and with no guidance is a time bomb which will blow up in the hands of those who handle it. Many of us would say: “Giving money is bad, but I just give them food or clothes”. Well, in that case I tell you: money they’ve earned, which would be used to buy food, now thanks to your “gift” in kind will be used to get “sticka”, cigarettes or alcohol.

So what can we do? First and foremost stop giving anything at all to street children wherever you meet them. Talk to them, ask them what their names are and where they come from and depart with a smile. I actually hope that as it is illegal to make children work, so it will also be unlawful to give them alms. Of course it would not stop the problem entirely. But if the law is going to be explained by an awareness campaign that shows the evil effects of our thoughtless almsgiving , maybe more people will just stop doing that, while others will be deterred by the sanctions foreseen for such acts of misguided charity. So to all who blame street kids for being little crooks I tell them “You are part of the problem”. Stop giving is the first practical step that you can take.

And that brings me to another consideration. Street kids are not the problem but they must be part of the solution. First of all they are children and we should never forget that. Secondly the overwhelming majority ends up in the streets because of broken homes, neglect and abuse. Take Mulenga for example, who was literally whipped by his father within an inch of his life just because he got home late after playing with his little friends. Or Chanda, an orphan who was brought to Lusaka by an uncle who treated him worse than an animal until he ran for his life and ended up in our church. Or Richard, who came with a little friend to the big city to buy computer games and ended up in the gutters sniffing “sticka”.

Not all of the children living on the street originate from dysfunctional homes. Tracing families of hundreds of the children I had an opportunity to meet with many good people, loving parents and concerned relatives who really suffer quietly with very little hope left, because they have to watch their child following path to destruction. They have tried everything to keep their child at home and they have failed, just because the child got used to having money in his/her pockets, knows the ways to get it and is not ready or willing to give that up.

So the ideal, radical solution is to nip in the bud the situations that force the children to flee home and allows him/her to survive on the street independently of adult guidance and supervision. In the traditional way of live in rural Zambia, every adult was responsible for the upbringing of any child. True, we live in a different world, but don’t we take the easy way out when we refuse to get involved in our neighbours domestic problems by saying that we can’t even cope with ours? This means that we have to learn to do something for which we are not well trained. To talk with (and no to) our children, to understand their aspirations, to listen to their dreams and projects. There are enough well trained counsellors, organizations and people with natural gifts and skills that can help in this sense. Here we have another practical thing that we can do. Read, get yourself informed, help your neighbours in need, visit the centres where the children are sheltered and helped. Yes, it is more demanding and time consuming than reaching into your pockets at the traffic lights but definitely more helpful for the children.

Street children are not a huge problem in Zambia, especially if compared with other large African capitals like Nairobi, Kinshasa, Luanda or Kampala. But it’s a problem destined to increase if life in the street continues to be appealing for the different reasons we have mentioned above".

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Joy, joy, joy...

Street apostolate

When charity kills

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